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Re: Untitled Novel (end-of-the-world-blahdyblah)
Prologue “It’s dark out, isn’t it.” The words were not spoken as a question, but as a statement. Because I was not asked for my opinion on the matter, I ...
Jul 28, 2009 -
Re: Seven
Glorious work here. A very enjoyable bit of work. Just a few things to mention: A breeze played with the wispy mahogany strands of hair escaping around my face. I ...
Jul 13, 2009 -
Re: Blithe Bereavement CH 5
Chapter 5 In which Ebony tries not to die (again). The first thing that Ebony noticed when she awoke was that the floor on which she lay was wet. Why ...
Apr 21, 2009 -
Re: Owl Eyes (Part One of Three)
Adorable and delightful. This is definitely going into my top favorites. The dialogue is very realistically written, something that can be immensely difficult. I'm heading straight to read the other ...
Apr 21, 2009 -
Re: bounty hunter, chapter 2
Hi there! So far, this story seems pretty interesting. I just jumped in here, but it's not too hard to figure out what is going on, which is nice. You ...
Apr 21, 2009 -
Re: "Witch" Chapter 1 EDITED
Wow! I am extremely impressed and enthralled. The story seems interesting, and the characters are easy to relate to. Their personalities are all nicely defined and easy to pick out. ...
Apr 20, 2009 -
Re: Blithe Bereavement CH4 PT2
With a sigh of relief that could only be induced by hours of prolonged annoyance, Ebony rose to her feet alongside Death, grateful eyes gazing at the land that stretched ...
Apr 20, 2009 -
Re: Death's Visit
This is one of the most amusing and entertaining scripts that I have ever read. While the disappearing toast and coffee pot flying through Death would be difficult to execute ...
Mar 9, 2009 -
Re: I Need A Bit Of Help
Hello, Once a week I teach a 45 minute writing workshop class to a small group of students at my old middle school. We have all been working on novels, ...
Mar 4, 2009 -
Re: Center
Very nice! It feels very powerful, and I like many of the comparisons you use. I have one thing, however... Her eyes opened wide as she stared in awe. The ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: First Paragraph Feedback
Very good. The second sentence is especially wonderful. The sentences all flow nicely and give a good image of the house without being tedious. I'd probably read it. ______ Many ...
Feb 25, 2009 -
Re: Name the Character Above You
Tanya, Veronica, Gabriella. A man who is dead (yet alive), and found by the heroine of the story chained to a rock in the Underworld with no memory whatsoever. He ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: Make a movie trailer
This is a great Idea! All of yours sound amazing! [Camera swoops in on devested Seattle. Buildings are crumbled and concrete is scattered everywhere. It looks as though bombs have ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: First Paragraph Feedback
It was all right. You introduced the characters well, and painted a nice, pleasing picture. It does a bit too much 'telling'. You might want to choose something a little ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: Title Feedback
A mystery that stars a sarcastic and bitter man reluctantly drawn into a dilemma. ________ The Adventures and Woes of Gregory Smit.
Feb 22, 2009
